"caution: I took an ambien one our ago...I cannot and will not be held responsible for my words"

I remember when I got glasses for the first time.  I had no clue that I couldn't see well or couldn't see at all for that matter.  Went through my dahy thinking it was normal.  but I was having migrains and they thought eye strain might be the cause.  So at age 13 I put on the glasses. 

 

Leaves.  The first thing I saw was leaves.  I looked out through a tiny windown near the ceiling and could see a tree outside and the tree had individual leaves.  I formerly saw trees as fluffy green afros...not individual leaves that made up a tree.  I had no clue what I was missing.  I spent the greater part of the next month pulling my glasses down and looking over the top of them and quickly replacing them amazed at the difference.

 

Well.  Sitting in a hospital bed with tons of energy but lungs that won't let you use them, I put my glasses on today.  Not my real ones, but figurative ones.  I see some things so clearly now.  Not perfectly, but in comparison to my previous vision, I see a leaf.  one leaf...several one leaf's, not a blurr of leaves.  I see some clear parts of God's will, I see meaningful relationships, I see love, and hope, and brokenness around me, I see somone who needs to learn to love himself and someone who needs to think more highly of herself.  I see kids on the edge of something amazing and somehting dangerous and stupid and it's up to them what it becomes.  I see kids searching and kids trying so hard to hide that they are searching.  I see masks.  I see hurt with glimpses of hope and happiness. 

 

I see a place for me.  A nitch.  To be used as I was created.  Does it get any better than that?  If you think of somehting let me know, would love to experience that too.

a "God" thing

This is one of those crazy things in my life that my mom calls "a God thing"

Please read


http://mooseintrees.blogspot.com

and

http://www.christianitytoday.com/tc/2007/002/5.41.html

Makes me laugh.

boring?

So my life has been incredibly busy and surprisingly uneventful for the last couple of weeks.  Really don't know what to do with that except rest.  That makes me laugh that I am resting in busyness.   Really excited about this semester of YoungLife.  Think some great things are in store.

So blogger has this thing where it shows me the cities of people who access my blog.  Doesn't give me names or anything, just cities.  I am overwhelmed at how many people are reading this.  I would almost think it was lying except that it shows a lot of hits from Knoxville and Gadsden.  Thanks for listening to me ramble.

High School Torry

I've been thinking a lot lately about the person I was in high school.  Not sure why.  Maybe it's because YoungLife is gearing back up and I'm about to be immersed in high school culture again.  I spent a lot of time with kids this summer but it was in smaller groups. 

But I was so different then.  Seems like a lifetime ago.  So different that I refer to that person as "High School Torry"...most of the time in the third person, not in the cocky way, but in a separate way.  I had convinced myself that I was the coolest thing ever and constantly tried to convince others of this fact.

I really regret that the last time I spent large amounts of time with my family, I was that person.  Why didn't God get in my face and shake me?  The last time my sisters got to see me every day, I was selfish, rude, arrogant, calloused, guarded, and hurt.  I hope they see me now.  I hope they laugh too at the difference in myself and High School Torry. 

I grew up, but more than just maturity happened.  The Holy Spirit changed me, and most of that happened pre- being sick.  He kept the good and destroyed so much that was bad.  I haven't arrived.  Funny that after all the improvement, I think less of myself now than then.  And, believe me, that is a good thing. 

I wonder if in ten years I'll be laughing at how ridiculous Twenties Torry was?

oops...I did it again

Well...it's another start of the semester and I have overbooked myself again.  I have several students right now for the ACT and that is in  a couple of weeks, so I should slow down some.  YoungLife starts up this week and I'm crazy excited about that.  I lost touch with a bunch of the guys over the summer with them being out of town so much, so I can't wait to get that up and going again.  I'm learning to set boundaries and am minimizing my after school tutoring.  You'd think I would have learned to manage my time by now, but I'm horrible at it.