Well, I didn't think I could get a week to top the one I had two weeks ago, but it could be done.
And I am not sure if it is just the place God has me right now, or the fact that leukemia is just a huge magnifying glass, but I found God in the strangest places this week. In the words of three women. I don't know any of them and have only met one of them.
Sunday I was preparing to go to a quick, one-day, check up visit to Houston. I knew the current chemo I was on was not working and they were probably going to take me off of the one I was on...wait a while and then attempt another. My flight was out of Nashville, so my mom drove and picked me up Sunday morning. On the way to Nashvile I began to get really nauseated. I have felt this way often so I wasn't too alarmed. By the time we reached the airport I needed a wheelchair because I was so weak. I threw up again in the terminal and for the entire flight. To put it lightly, it was miserable. When I got to Houston, we went straight to the emergency room where I was treated by IV for nausea, pain, and dehydration. While were waiting for hours in the ER, the Oscars were on. Reese Witherspoon won the Oscar for Best Actress. Now, I am a huge Reese fan, but her winning the Oscar, did not have a deep spiritual impact on me. Her words did, however. In her speech she quoted June Carter saying "I'm just trying to matter." Hmmm...Isn't that everyone's story? Aren't we all looking for a purpose, a place we are wanted and needed. At the same time, this journey is impossible and hopeless without Christ.
Just before they were to release me from the ER to come back the next morning to see the doctor, I spiked a 102.6 fever. (which would be a great radio station, 102.6 The Fever). They couldn't send me home with a fever that high, so I was admitted into the hospital for the next two nights. Now my mom was with me, so we watched a lot of TV, actually a lot of feminine TV. Which I guess was appropriate, since the hospital was so booked that they put me on the gynecology floor. On Monday we were watching Martha Stewart and her guest was Fran Drescher (the Nanny). She was discussing her personal battle with Cancer and she said, in her whiny, annoying voice,"I found that I have more joy when I am more willing to change my plans." I had a lot of plans to change this week...flights, tutoring, younglife campaigners, teaching, grading, etc.
After my bone marrow biopsy on Monday, the doctor said my eosiophil level was 38, the highest they have ever seen in anyone. They decided then that I could not wait for the old chemo to get out of my system, I needed to start the new one immediately. The problem was that no insurance covers it and it costs $2000 a dose and I have to have 3 doses a week...You do the math...not possible. This was definately a new change of plans. But the insurance office of the hospital called back in shock...no one's insurance had ever paid for this treatment and mine did with no questions asked.
So I started the new chemo on Tuesday night and got to spend one night in the hotel before heading back to knoxville on Wednesday. When I was about to be discharged a lady nurse came in to take off my IV. She looked liked she may be from India and she spoke very broken English. When she started to remove the tape, she could see that my hairy arm was going to pose a problem. She asked "Can I pull it fast?" and I said yes. In one motion she ripped off the IV and put a bandage on my bleeding wrist. She clamped in on so hard that it hurt and was awkward. But I looked up and her eyes we so amazingly kind. That's how I feel many times in the grip of Christ, it is firm and painful, but kind.
She then asked me in her thick accent "Are you Christian?" I said yes and before I could say anything else she began speaking. In words that had to be rehearsed because of her limited English, but were so genuine. "I am a cancer survivor for 5 years. I could not have done this without Christ. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and he will direct your path. The Lord is not finished blessing people with your life."
There it is. There is your change of plans and there is how you matter.
The night and the day following my first treatment were pretty rough. Lots of flu symptoms, aching, fever, fatigue, nausea, etc. But they have gotten progressively better. I feel perfectly fine today and I took another dose last night. My eosinophil levels had improved greatly already this morning. So hopefully the side effects will stay minimal and the response maximal.
