High School Torry

I've been thinking a lot lately about the person I was in high school.  Not sure why.  Maybe it's because YoungLife is gearing back up and I'm about to be immersed in high school culture again.  I spent a lot of time with kids this summer but it was in smaller groups. 

But I was so different then.  Seems like a lifetime ago.  So different that I refer to that person as "High School Torry"...most of the time in the third person, not in the cocky way, but in a separate way.  I had convinced myself that I was the coolest thing ever and constantly tried to convince others of this fact.

I really regret that the last time I spent large amounts of time with my family, I was that person.  Why didn't God get in my face and shake me?  The last time my sisters got to see me every day, I was selfish, rude, arrogant, calloused, guarded, and hurt.  I hope they see me now.  I hope they laugh too at the difference in myself and High School Torry. 

I grew up, but more than just maturity happened.  The Holy Spirit changed me, and most of that happened pre- being sick.  He kept the good and destroyed so much that was bad.  I haven't arrived.  Funny that after all the improvement, I think less of myself now than then.  And, believe me, that is a good thing. 

I wonder if in ten years I'll be laughing at how ridiculous Twenties Torry was?